Can we talk about growth? Let’s rewind seven years. It’s 2011, and it’s the first season of the first franchise of Vh1’s now-infamous Love and Hip Hop: New York. The scene spans Mashonda’s deserted, unkempt, foreclosed house and Mashonda is in the living room talking to Emily about how Emily needs to stay “on her game” because she could potentially end up in the same situation with her now alleged husband Fabolous. To the viewers, it seems like Mashonda is blaming her husband’s infidelity abandonment on her lack of awareness in the relationship.
Fast forward to the present day, Mashonda and Swizz Beatz are divorced and Swizz is married to recording artist Alicia Keys with two children. I know that this particular career can be demanding and time-consuming, but is it too much to ask to remain faithful? If not, what’s the purpose of being married, or being in a committed relationship. But of course, that’s none of my business. Especially since Mashonda seems to have moved on from that entire situation and is currently promoting her book, Blend: The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family. Like the title, the book provides methods on how to exist in the new reality of having to maintain a positive relationship with the parent and step-parents of your children after a divorce or separation. I think this is a great idea because some things are just not talked about or discussed in the Black community. A lot of people hold bitterness and resentment from relationships and end up unknowingly passing them on to their children (Which Mashonda mentions in her Breakfast Club interview). This book offers ways to have an open dialogue so that we’re not passing on these feeling to each generation. Another great thing about this book is that all adults collaborated on the project. Since they can all take vacations together, I’m sure they were able to sit in a room together and have an honest, candid discussion on the type conversation they wanted to ignite with their readers.
Mashonda also discusses what led her to accept her new normal in her interview with The Breakfast Club. She also mentions two inspiring quotes from her grandmother that everyone should take into consideration –
“If you love the man, you have to love the child.” “If you can’t love the child, you have to leave the child.”
I love how growth is the new wave. In addition to Mashonda, Swizz, and Alicia, Monyetta Shaw and Ne-yo have also collaborated on a co-parenting book. And we all know the poster children for blended families – Jada, Will and Sheree. It’s great to see high-profile celebrities shedding light on issues that were once seen as taboo or swept under the rug.
Let’s keep these conversations going!