Do you know your love language? Did you know that love came in different languages? Don’t worry, you are not alone. The term “love language” has been around for some time, but I think it has gotten a lot of traction and become more popular lately. Since today is Hump Day, let’s dig into these love languages and see what they mean.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, The 5 Love Languages, relationships are the healthiest and most successful when everyone can understand one another. To this point, through research, Dr. Chapman discovered that “different people with different personalities express love in different ways. These ways of expressing and receiving love are defined as the ‘5 Love Languages.’ They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.” Scroll for a detailed explanation of each Love Language per Dr. Chapman.
Words of Affirmation – use words to affirm other people
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Acts of Service – use actions to speak louder than words
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
Receiving Gifts – receiving gifts makes them feel loved
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
Quality Time – giving the other person your attention
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Physical Touch – appropriate touching
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Still not sure of your Love Language, take the quiz here, and see what category speaks to you the most!
